When it’s Time to Break-Up with your Old Stories.

There you are telling your BFF all about some situation you have going on in your job or with your spouse or this habit you wish you could change…

There’s this thing you see.  An issue.  A problem.

And, no matter what you try it just won’t go away.  Maybe it’s been going on for quite a while now.

Your friend offers some ideas, but alas…you just KNOW that NOTHING will work.  Nothing. You’ve tried everything.  It’s just no use. And you have your reasons ready and waiting to give anyone willing to listen as to why xyz  (no matter what xyz is) will NEVER WORK. It’s like those answers are on auto-pilot.

But, what if you took a moment and took a deeper look at why you even believe those answers to be true?  Why can’t you change this thing?  Why not you?  Why not now?

When you’re listing all the reasons why xyz hasn’t worked, can’t work and WON’T work…take a moment…dig deep…what is the underlying storyline to these reasons?

What is the story you keep telling yourself as to why change isn’t possible for you?

Maybe someone made you feel like shining your unique bright light wasn’t ok.  Maybe someone made you feel unattractive. Maybe there was a time you felt stupid, weak or wrong and a story began in the back of your mind.  It started as a way to protect you from being hurt in the future…you decided you didn’t want to ever feel that way again and so now you avoid situations that could lead to that kind of experience from ever happening again.

So you play small.  You dim your light.  You make sure not to put yourself in a position where you might be challenged in this area…and you also believe there are things you simply cannot have or do because of what these stories mean about you.

It’s these hidden, underlying stories that have been running through the background since we can remember and they tell us we simply cannot overcome certain obstacles.  It’s the backdrop of who we are and how our life always seems to turn out.  It’s the lens through which we view the world.

It’s taken me 3 years to finally overcome a few of stories of my own.  They not only kept me from showing up as a coach and growing my business but they made me feel limited in what I could do and who I could be…they made me feel restricted in every area of my life.  Trapped.

The first story was one about time (there’s just too much to do and not enough time) and worthiness (and since I’m the mom I should make sure everyone else’s needs are met before I sit down and try to start a business that may or may not succeed) And of course this one goes deeper than just putting others ahead of myself because I’m a mother, but we’ll leave it at that for now.

I’ve been working on that time and unworthiness story for a while now.  I had to realize it was even there…getting in my way.  That it wasn’t an inherent truth that I was telling myself.  It was a story and one that if I kept believing I would keep perpetuating.

Then I had to start breaking down the power it held over me by choosing to no longer believe it or even give it my attention and I definitely had to stop TELLING that story through my words and actions.

The second story is about perfectionism (if you can’t do it perfectly then don’t bother doing it at all) and I’m still working on this one…

“ But, if you want to be a successful coach then you NEED to get this right!  You NEED to put out the best content and it’s NEEDS to be perfect!!” My perfection story wants to say.

So, I’m going to write this blog article, my very first, and I’m going to post it and then I’m even going to share the shit out of it.  Not because I think it’s the best thing I’ve ever written.  But because if I don’t then I will never get my message out and find my voice and learn through trial and error how to truly connect with you all so that I can offer inspiration and support through my words!

Let’s break up with our old stories.  Let’s acknowledge those thoughts and words we say to ourselves over and over that keep us small…that keep us from expanding into greater, stronger, empowered versions of ourselves.  Only then can we start living a life that we feel good about because we’re no longer letting those old stories tell us who we are and what we can do.  We get to decide.

What do you want to do with your life?  What story are you running in your mind that’s holding you back??  Why not you?  Why not now?