Is Your Motivation for Change…Motivating??
By: Kara Gilsenan
For many years I was inspired by the self-improvement genre. I read lots of self-help books, I studied psychology in college and even went on to get my masters in counseling services. I wanted to figure out how to be my best self and then I wanted to help other people do the same. This journey has taken me to the very depths of my soul and yet I still felt like there were missing pieces. It seemed like no matter how much I learned there were certain things I simply couldn’t change, couldn’t overcome, couldn’t “fix”.
That’s when I started to realize how easy it is to slip into this mindset of always trying to be more…that I wasn’t really enough as I was…it’s in the name, self-improvement; but it’s not the act of seeking improvement that reduces us to feeling less than, it’s our motivation behind our efforts that determines how desire for change makes us feel.
We have to stop and ask ourselves why…why are we seeking change? Why are we looking to be different? To improve?
When I sat down to answer this question for myself I realized that I was doing it for all the wrong reasons. I was trying to be healthier so I could be more attractive (i.e. I wasn’t attractive as I was) I was trying to be more mindful and patient so I could be a better mom (i.e. I wasn’t a good mom as I was) I wanted to be successful so I could feel good about myself (i.e. I wasn’t good enough just as I was).
None of these are very motivating…all of the underlying reasons I was seeking change and self-improvement were rooted in this belief that I wasn’t good enough as I was and I needed to change in so many ways before I could give myself permission to be satisfied with my life.
Now I realize that I was putting the cart before the horse, so to speak.
It’s when we finally give ourselves permission to be satisfied with who we are, right where we are…that’s when things start to change and we see “improvements”.
See, I had the goal all wrong…and more importantly my motivation for change was weak and dis-empowering.
Change so you don’t suck.
That’s not motivating at all, lol.
I’ve been asking myself a lot lately about what does motivate me. Cause there are some areas in my life that I’d still like to change but for whatever reason I haven’t yet been able to overcome whatever limiting thoughts and stories I believe are true in these areas so I keep sabotaging my efforts. So, I asked myself what would motivate me enough to actually want to change?
You know what I came up with?
Happiness. Happiness motivates me. Being happy, feeling happy and being able to feel it so completely that it spills out of me and I can’t help but share it with anyone else around me. That’s motivating to me.
And what’s more…when I’m happy I feel more inspired to take action that will SUPPORT the changes I want to make. Doesn’t it feel so much easier to make better choices for ourselves when we’re feeling pretty good in the first place vs being tired, stressed or overwhelmed.
So, if you’ve been trying to make a change in your life I invite you to ask yourself what is the true motivating factor behind why you want to create that change? What are the limiting thoughts you have about yourself or the world that are contributing to that reasoning.
Once you realize what those limiting thoughts, beliefs and stories are you can get to work on changing them…call yourself out on them, search for evidence to feed your brain as to all the ways they are not true or the opposite can be true and find new, better thoughts that at least a part of you can believe (affirmations that you don’t believe at all won’t work). You’re basically taking a weak belief you have about what maybe, could-be possible and strengthening it so that you start to feel it in your body and then you have the courage to act on it and before you know it you are getting results in your life that mirror that belief as opposed to the limiting one that was holding you back before!
And the motivation…the “why” we want to change? Let’s just decide that we want change because it’s possible…because we can…because we’re tired of letting life get away from us and we’re ready to be the creators, the deciders, the drivers…it’s time to realize that we have the power to create the life we’ve always longed for. We just have to get out of our own way! Let’s choose even more happiness in our lives to be our motivation. It’s so much more fun that way!
If you’d like to learn more about happiness then check out my 5 day video series “How to do Happy” that’s running in my Facebook page Kara’s Transformational Coaching this week!
If you’d like to learn more about how to identify, heal and transform limiting thoughts, beliefs, stories and patterns so you can start creating your greatest life then check out my new program Living Life on Purpose which is currently 50% off!! Sale ends June 15th. Program launches June 17th! Check it out HERE! This program WILL change lives…will yours be one of them?