Belief Maps…What are They and How They Can Change Everything!
By Kara Gilsenan
I talk a lot in my workshops and in my videos about how changing our thoughts can be a powerful way to create change in our lives. There’s more to it than just forcing ourselves to think differently but, generally speaking, we all have the power to choose thoughts that are more helpful to us and more likely to result in experiences that are pleasing.
A belief is the result of a thought that we’ve had over and over. It’s traveled a well worn neural pathway in our brain that we are likely to use again and again in situations that are similar. I also talk often about the fact that our brain seeks evidence to support the thoughts and beliefs that we’ve already accepted as true so that over time we build up a vast arsenal of verification that what we believe is true! And this feels right. It feels true. It feels good.
What we don’t realize is that when our brain is seeking that evidence…it’s often at the expense of disregarding information that doesn’t fit neatly into our pre-existing patterns of thinking. This is messy for our brain and it’s not efficient to deal with information that doesn’t make sense to us right away so our brain will actually discard, ignore, distort or generalize this information so that we can move about our day efficiently and with a sense that the world makes sense which is very comforting to us and our brain!
What this means is that…our experiences, circumstances and reality is NOT an inherent truth but only our perception of what is actually true!
If we believe we are less than, if we believe life is hard, if we believe men can’t do housework, if we believe society doesn’t value women, if we believe kids are mean, if we believe “money doesn’t grow on trees”, if we believe something is hard…we will repeatedly see, over and over, evidence of this in our lives and we will continue to experience our lives through these beliefs.
Now, I know some of you are thinking…but it’s true…society doesn’t value women or life is hard!! Here’s where you have to set aside the need to know if something is actually true…maybe it is true…certainly it’s true sometimes…but we can’t CREATE and INPIRE change from a place that is focused on that being the truth…we only create more evidence of its truth by focusing on how true we believe it to be…make sense?
What I want to share with you today is how I’ve taken that information and created what I call a belief map so that I can rewire my brain to start looking for evidence to support the life that I WANT to live…not the one that makes sense to my brain which was programmed by all of my experiences growing up…the good, bad and ugly…all those experiences that were understood from the viewpoint of a child (as we know that our earlier years are very influential on our belief system). We are at the mercy of however we interpreted the messages we received and experiences we had when, cognitively, we couldn’t rationalize or separate ourselves from what was going on so it felt like everything was about us and anything negative we experienced lacked the filter that we as adults now have to understand, reason and rationalize.
Now that I know this, I want to create a new belief system for myself that really helps me to feel good and live my greatest life! As I have done this my experience has been shifting over time and the results are impressive and most of all…FUN!
I’ll give you an example of something that’s in my belief map. I’ve decided to believe that everyone is doing the best they can with the tools and coping skills that they have available to them. That’s one. What does this do for me? It creates a sense of oneness…as we’re all in this journey together and although we may all be in different phases, stages and places…we are all trying our best. Someone else’s best is none of my business so I can let the responsibility having a judgement or opinion about that go and I can just focus on doing my best and building my own coping skills and tools so I am strong, resilient, helpful and knowledgeable. I feel more empowered this way. I feel like even though there are things I have no control over that I can at least see people’s actions that are outside of me with more compassion and when I am being more compassionate others respond to me better and I’m surrounded more and more by people that respect me, value me and are more caring towards me because I’ve shown them respect, value and care.
It is from this place that if someone crosses a boundary I can, without guilt, either remove them from my life or choose to spend less time with them and I feel good in my decision because there is no judgement. It is ok to let go of what is not serving us but when we get caught up in the negative emotions, judgements and blame-games…then it gets messy and it’s harder to know what the right decision is.
What makes a good belief for your belief map is the following:
It serves you. It makes you feel a sense of relief. It offers you freedom to be, do, think and have whatever you want. Sometimes we really have to get clear though, on what it is we want. In my example I could’ve said that I want to hold people accountable for their actions because often that feels good to our ego so we have to get clear on what it is our soul wants…not the ego. That comes with time. I have had to make choices in my life that I thought were from my soul only to find out once on the other side of that choice that once again it was my tricky ego. But, that’s ok…one more lesson learned and now I have an even stronger sense of when I make choices if they are soul aligned.
You can also take a limiting belief that you are aware of…let’s say you’ve always believed you needed to show up, act or be a certain way to be accepted (strong…so holding in emotions, thin or heavy, athletic or super smart etc.) You can create a belief about how each of us has our own unique, individual design and when we choose to authentically show up in the world, however we choose to, we are shining our brightest light and creating the greatest impact on people and the world around us. Or you can create a belief that speaks specifically to your limited story of who you need to be so if you grew up being told you should not show emotion one of yours could be “it is safe and healthy to express myself and how I feel. My emotions are valid and by feeling them and expressing them I am allowing myself the freedom to move on from them instead of holding them inside me where they will stay until I let them go.”
The reason I call it a belief map is because these are things that I WANT to believe but sometimes it’s a struggle so this is my MAP…this is where I want to keep reminding myself to go. I have several beliefs on my map that are big one’s about life and how I want to believe the world works and then I have more individualized one’s that are just for me…things that help me to work through my limiting thoughts and stories so I can continue to break down the power and strength they have over me…but remember…that power is only in our mind. It’s our mind that has given these limiting beliefs so much power and it’s time we change the story.
Every moment of every day we get to choose…how we respond to the world around us. It’s not always easy, though, to REMEMBER that we have the power to choose. Logically we hear things like how powerful it can be to change perspective but unless it’s something we practice regularly, then we won’t actually be able to use this tool for its greatest benefit…to truly rewire our brain it’s something we have to be aware of, conscious of and actively trying to do…all…the…time!
And when we do…the reward is so juicy! A life we love, surrounded by people that we love and that love us and support us as we support ourselves and each other, as we go on to change ourselves and then our lives and the ripple effect of that is that we are changing the world. One person at a time!
Did this article resonate with you?
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